You Have To Focus On You

Healing is a word that can mean many different things to many different people. Going through the healing process, or calling yourself healed after a traumatic event or circumstance proves that life is an ever-changing journey, filled with seasons that we cannot predict. But, how does one heal? 

How does one self-heal?

Self-healing is the process of recovery that is motivated by and directed by a person that is often guided by instinct. Our nature allows us to be protective to ourselves and our surroundings, so self-healing is your mental response to the very core of who you are. As you are intentionally creating a space for yourself to heal, it is important to place habits in your life that take up time in order to shift your energy level, your mood, and thus cause self-healing to occur. 

You may be thinking, why is it important to heal? Well, let me be the first to say that healing is a continuous process that is important to your overall health and wellness. Not only does unhealed trauma have an effect on your mind, it can also have long-term effects on your body. In order to live life in a fulfilled way, self-healing must be a part of each season in our lives. 

Just remember, it starts with the mind-shift that must take place and the implementing habits that can support your healing.

Here are 5 ways that you can practice self-healing on a regular basis.

1. Meditate. Take 5 minutes out of your day to center yourself. Play sounds of nature, and be one with yourself. Close your eyes and focus on nothing but the sounds of nature. 

2. Breathe Intentionally. Feel each and every breath that goes in your nose and out of your mouth. You can also combine this technique with meditating for a more focused experience.

3. Eat well. Eating well not only improves the physical condition of the body, it provides you with greater energy throughout the day and gives your brain the nutrients that it needs. 

4. Rest- Sleep is the most important because your body needs to rest itself to heal and get stronger. Aim for at least 7 hours of sleep.

5. Yoga. This is a great way to move your body while also practicing a state of calmness. Whether it is a group class or a solo virtual session, yoga helps you to relax, center you and lessen distress.

If you are struggling with healing in your life, schedule a call to chat with one of our therapists.  Click here to book a session with one of our licensed professionals, who are ready to see you get well. We are ready to support you in your journey to healing.

Why Coping Skills Are Important

What are they? Why are they so important? Where do I get them? These are all valid questions when you’re asked, “what are you doing to cope?”. It would be great if we had a laundry list of healthy coping skills on hand, but the truth is we learn by watching how others cope. 

It never occurred to me when growing up that some behaviors I observed were people “coping”. Coping with “life happening”, things they could not control and issues that had become chronic and just wanted to escape. What they were trying to escape was never obvious but seeing the relief a person had when they got that puff from a cigarette was a sign. Over time hearing statements like “I need a drink” or “I like being high because I’m calmer” were evident that some of this must be learned too. People are not just creating these vices, some of them are taught. They were being taught how to cope with whatever life throws at them from watching those around them and assuming that is works or that’s what everyone does. 

There are many but some of the most common coping vices are drugs, alcohol, sex, food, shopping, smoking cigarettes and even WORKING! Unfortunately, as most of us have experienced; they don’t work for long and they often become bad habits that do more harm than good. This is where drug addiction, hypersexuality, overeating (and food restrictions), “retail therapy” become problematic. We must be honest with ourselves; they do not help. There has to be a limit to all things. Even those working long hours, working out or just scrolling social media have to be careful. Too much of anything has a point where it starts as a “mental getaway” and ends with a barrage of negative thoughts, emotions and burn out. It’s understandable that if we are not careful, the very thing that was supposed to help becomes uncontrollable. The purpose of coping tools is to help alleviate tension, change perspective (or emotions) and give a mental break from racing thoughts or overthinking an issue. 

A review of current coping tools/vices are reviewed often in therapy sessions. We identify a way to measure the reduction of poor coping tools and the increase of healthier ones. The goal is to change the scales and balance what you can. There has to be a truth moment with yourself about how you are dealing with your stressors, poorly managed relationships and issues that are not within your control. Coping tools are important because they help us do just that – cope – deal with things. 

Things like mindfulness that helps you tap into your awareness and consciousness so that your response to issues are aligned. There are several ways to meditate so research them and see what may be helpful for you. Coloring, gardening, reading a new book, writing your thoughts (journaling), blowing up balloons, painting or even singing can be helpful. The thing that tends to throw people off about coping skills is the need for them to be done often and even better in a routine. It’s unrealistic to believe that when you are “in need” that these coping tools will occur to you. At that point the coping skill cannot match the intense feelings you are experiencing. You will likely become frustrated and convince yourself that they do not work. If you are consistent and aware of what each coping tool does for you – you can create a long list of coping skills for yourself that you only need to adjust at times of high anxiety, stress or frustration. As you slowly eliminate the old habits, you will eventually replace them with some that are much healthier.  

The bottom line is if what you are doing is no longer healthy and helpful, you need to explore more. Most things work when used appropriately and become second nature. Engaging in therapy is not always about your past but this where together we identify the source of some poor habits and reveal what you need today.   

3 Simple Relaxation Techniques For Easing Stress & Anxiety

We all deal with anxiety and stress from time to time. In fact, it’s probably the number one complaint and cause for visits to the doctor’s office. And stress and anxiety can lead to a number of health problems including insomnia and heart disease.

In short, too much stress is a bad thing.

Here are three amazing relaxation techniques to ease anxiety and stress.

#1 Meditate. You’ll be amazed what five minutes of meditation can do for your overall sense of well being. That’s it, five minutes. Contrary to popular belief you don’t have to sit on the floor for an hour and chant. Start with five minutes of focusing on your breathing. As you begin to reap the benefits you’ll want to meditate longer. It’ll improve your physical and emotional health. You’ll not only be able to relax immediately when you’re feeling stressed, you’ll begin to manage stress much better. 

Next time you’re feeling overly anxious or stressed go find a quiet place where you can be undisturbed for five minutes. Sit down so you’re comfortable, on a chair or on the floor, whichever works best. Close your eyes and simply focus on your breathing. As thoughts come into your mind, and they will, don’t judge them or react, simply set them aside and continue to focus on your breathing. You’ll feel so much better – instant relaxation.

#2 Daydream. If you’re struggling with meditation or that’s just not your style, daydream instead. Imagine yourself some place relaxing. Some place that makes you feel happy and free. Find a quiet place, or just close your eyes at your desk, and allow yourself to daydream for five minutes. Make your daydreams as vivid as possible. Imagine what things smell like, what they feel like. What sounds do you hear?  

#3 Change your mindset. They say that we attract what we project. With that line of thinking the more you focus on how stressed you are, the more stress you’re going to feel. You’re going to attract stress and anxiety to you. A quick shift in your mindset, however, can provide instant relaxation. 

Next time you’re feeling stressed or fearful, stop your anxiety ridden thoughts and think about five things you’re grateful for. Think about what brings you joy, about the good people in your life, think about what makes you feel happy and good. Sometimes simply thinking about all that you have that’s good can help make the things that are stressing you out seem quite insignificant.

Stress is a part of our life. Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes it’s harmful. If you feel you are chronically anxious or if you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks, it’s important to put these three tips to work for you. It’s also important to see a doctor to help determine if you suffer from an anxiety disorder.

Stress and anxiety don’t have to rule your life.